Pecan Pie

Social Anxiety from the South

Hallowe’en; The Holiday for Sex?

Hallowe’en.  One of my favorite holidays.  A holiday where grownups are expected to act like children.
The one day of the year where women are allowed to slut it up with no repercussions. Sad. We need a holiday to be sexual without being seen as a whore.
My morning ride is the best thing ever because I get so many opportunities to scream obscenities at the clusterfuck of society we attempt to moderate each day.  Last week an enraged father calls the morning show, he is horrified, he is confused, he is hurt.  “My wife is going around the neighborhood with our daughter this year with another group of women.  They are going as The Pussycat Dolls!  I cannot understand what makes her think this is appropriate for our child!”
Little girls dressing sexy for Halloween. The idea blows my mind on a number of levels. At first, I reacted like you, appalled that a mother would let her little girl dress like a pop star.  How often do we remark at the mature clothing choices of girls who seem so young?  How often do those of us with boys say, “I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with that.”?  I hear it or say it all the time.
But, who makes it sexy? We do.
Your 9 year old is not sexualizing herself, oh no, you’re doing a damn fine job of that all by your overprotective self.  She might, however, be ridiculously confused as to why it’s okay for her to listen to her favorite stars but the second she tries to emulate them, dad’s calling up the local radio show accusing mom of dressing her as a tramp.  You’ve sexualized her 9 year old normalcy and then gotten angry about it to boot.  I’m not sure I have enough space to talk about all the things wrong with this.
Cafemom’s The Stir recently ran an article about toddler girls in two piece bathing suits. The pile of inane comments following this non-issue made me breathe funny. Pedophiles! It’s all about the sexual predator. They’re out to get your kids, you know, and that two piece bikini on the innocent chubby legs of your beautiful baby girl is as enticing to them as peanut butter to a Labrador. Is it just me or is that the most preposterous example fear-mongering since the 9/11 mosque went viral on Fox News?
Our kids are not walking targets for sexual predators. The chances of your child being abducted are less than 1%. If you want to morbidly worry about some freak assaulting your kid, you’d fare much better by keeping them away from your family, their teachers, their clergy and yourself. Those are the people preying on your kids…all the people you know and love, at least, statistically speaking.
Instead, what we’re doing is fostering a culture of fear and hyper-sexualization that prevents normal and genuine growth of human sexuality and replaces it with helicopter parenting and tweens with no sexual boundaries. Haven’t you ever heard of the preacher’s kid? Well, by making the human body and its growth a synthetic process we’ve created a generation or more of preacher’s kids; full of fear and running wild with no restraint.
Little girls and babies do not think like grown moms and dads. They don’t look at The Pussycat Dolls and see an inappropriate costume, they see pretty girls singing a catchy tune, and the meaning of “Loosen up my Buttons” is lost in the made up dance routine and hairbrush microphone. If you are truly concerned about the values they are embracing, then make sure they get the strong role models of mom and grandma and Florence Nightingale alongside their daily dose of Britney and Christina. You don’t have to stranglehold their influences, just balance the bubble gum out with some fortitude and independence and I think you’ll find that a short skirt worn on Halloween will be a minute concern in the overall scheme of things.

Written by thelittlepecan

October 5, 2010 at 11:57 am

Posted in atheism

10 Responses

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  1. Why the hell are you talking about thongs on toddlers.freaks.


    October 29, 2010 at 11:16 pm

  2. ROFL! Welcome, Yandie!!Well, a thong on my toddler would be weird. He looks at me when I get out of the bath and says, "Mommy, where is the rest of your unnerwares?"


    October 28, 2010 at 7:23 pm

  3. Stumbled here from Sociological images, and I whole-heartedly agree with your sentiments.@mother phoenix. A thong on a toddler has potential to be a bathroom-disaster, if they're not fully trained. and that IS gross.

    Yandie, Goddess of Pickles.

    October 28, 2010 at 7:17 pm

  4. I misspoke. I meant a thong bikini. You know. Butt-floss. Not that pretty on anyone, in my opinion. A fashion disaster on a three year old. On my opinion.

    Mother Phoenix

    October 6, 2010 at 4:26 pm

  5. The inane comments on most Stir articles make me breathe funny. I also do a lot of yelling at the stupidity there. And I know I love you. :o)When my kids were little, I was the mother of one of each (boy, girl, feline) but I never had to worry about this. My daughter did not dress like a tramp because she had no tramp clothes. I tend to be pretty oblivious to a lot of the sexualization other people seem to see or are aware of much more easily. I think because I didn't see it, it was less likely presented in ways my kids (the human ones) would pick up on, because overall during their childhoods, they were often kinda oblivious, too. Like kids should be, since they are KIDS. And all this was with my letting them watch daytime soaps, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and a lot of other non-standard child TV fare. If they actually picked up on something that could be considered suggestive or adult, we talked about itThey briefly, their questions were answered, we went on with the show. knew if they had other questions, we could talk more later. If some sort of improper, immoral or unethical behavior was shown, there would be a casual conversation of "what ifs" or should people really act like this in real life? No hastily covering their eyes or cutting off the TV or shoving them out of the room.Kids are not clueless, no. But like you say, Alana, what it MEANS to them and what they take from it, is often vastly different from what the adults in their lives get from the same scene or event. So why jump the gun and freak out on them, or offer far more than they really want or need to know?It's like that old joke where the child walks up to the mom and says "Where did I come from?" And the mom is mortified, but bravely charges ahead with all gory details of conception. Afterward her horrified 4 year old says "Wow, Susie came from the hospital."


    October 6, 2010 at 4:23 am

  6. I don't understand the difference between a bikini and a string bikini on a three year old?


    October 6, 2010 at 12:50 am

  7. The guy down the street might find my son's knees erotic and sexy. For fear of that possibility, should I dress him in pants year round? There will always be marginal people who are turned on by weird things. Should we live our lives always in fear of this? I don't think so.But I do think that with models getting younger, flatter, skinnier, hip-less, hairless……..I do think that the media and the U.S. has fallen in love with the child. At what point does a boobless "18" year old on a porn site who looks like a 10 year old lead to the conclusion that children are sexy? That's a problem, I think. But it wouldn't make me stop my daughter, if I had one, from dressing like a sexy rock star on Halloween. Halloween, I think all those taboos and barriers come down. Well, most of them.But I would not allow her to go out in clothing I thought was too revealing, suggestive, especially if it were trashy. This mythical daughter. I don't think bikinis are trashy. Unless you're putting a toddler in a string bikini. That's just gross and asking for a mess.

    Mother Phoenix

    October 5, 2010 at 8:28 pm

  8. @ Donna-Well, you know what I think about that. More to come on how we mold our boys in a future post.@ Teena-Education, education, education! We could solve so much, poverty, abortion, domestic violence, and welfare dependence with a better investment in education.


    October 5, 2010 at 1:40 pm

  9. I think I love you! You're so right. If we stopped looking at sexuality as something taboo that adults do in secret, and realize that it is a normal part of human existence, maybe we could finally do something about teenage promiscuity (as in sex for the sake of having sex), pregnancy, and a generally over-sexed society.Teena


    October 5, 2010 at 12:47 pm

  10. I am one of those mothers of boys who have said, "I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that". The whole climate of hypocritical views on sexuality is so much easier to avoid with male offspring. Your post makes me wonder if I should give into the temptation to let that ride of if I should be taking a more active role in molding how they view sexuality and how society presents it. Of course, I know the answer to that already.


    October 5, 2010 at 12:35 pm

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