Pecan Pie

Social Anxiety from the South

Calling out Asshattery; Misogyny and anti-Atheism

Daniel Fincke over at Camels With Hammers has a really great post today about Schrödinger’s Rapist, an article written by a woman explaining to men that, while we understand you “probably” wish us no ill will, our entire lives have been cultivated by a society of patriarchy, rapist sympathy and virgin v. vamp mentality that makes it really hard for many of us to just accept your platonic advances.

Many of us have experienced so many overt, unwanted, sexually over-toned encounters that being a bitch to you is just second nature. Many of us have been sexually assaulted multiple times and often by men who started off by “just being friendly.’

However, and I think this is where the libertarian/anarchist influence of my wonderful partner comes in; I’m not big on making people conform. I’d much rather restrict the social capital so severely of those who refuse to progress that it makes it so advantageous for them to change that they do. They have to. Evolution at work!


Disclaimer: I don’t mean for businesses, or government, or public spaces…those things should always be free of prejudice and comfortable for all people to be in, no matter their gender, race, creed, and yada yada yada.

I’m into…shaming or calling out, for lack of better terms (sort of like Greta does here when misogyny rears its super ugly head on her blog) when people act like asshats.

Here’s the thing. People are going to be jerkfaces. Fact.O’.Nature.

The only way to get them to stop is to remove so much social capital that they can’t help but change. I’m usually not into shaming, ostracizing or “othering”; goes against my social science nature and against my empathetic handicap that keeps me from getting in the face of f*ckwads many, many a day.


That does not mean I don’t think it doesn’t have its place.

So may negatives, so little blog space.

I’m not sure that men who can’t realize their actions might be taken out of context should change. I’m certain that minority races should not change for my white, overly privileged benefit and I doubt that evangelical fundamentalists will ever change to make me more comfy.

So be it.

Don’t change. (If you’re a person of color, please don’t change. Any Caucasian who crosses the street on looks alone can go eff themselves.)

Here’s the thing.

If you’re a dude and you’re making me uncomfortable…I’m gonna be a first class bitch to you. And yanno what? You should be okay with that. If you’re not, I’m okay with that. I’ve got a place to rant about my experience and shame you to def on the interwebz. I’ve been groped too many times in a bar, raped by too many men who were my “friends” or “lovers” and been too often shamed myself into laughing at your chauvinistic and really bad (if I may say so) jokes at the expense of myself. So, I’m just sayin’, Bless your heart…bitch.

And…if you’re an intolerant fundamentalist, well, guess what? We’re here, we love the queers, we lost the “god-fearin'” part a long time ago and, well, you should probably get used to it.

Don’t change.

No. Really.

The world will.

In the end, it’ll be you bitching about being the minority and you know what?

I’ll probably stand up for you that day…

Even though you’d never stand up for me.

Written by thelittlepecan

January 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Posted in atheism

10 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Daniel Fickle over at Camels With Hammers

    Hey! Who are you calling fickle??

    In other news, charming post, I love the ending.

    Daniel Fincke

    January 17, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    • Oh my Bob! Worst typo ever! *ducks*

      In other news, how cool is this?! Some are less charming, please stick around if you’re so inclined. 🙂


      January 17, 2012 at 2:29 pm

      • I will! it’s nice to meet you. 🙂

        Daniel Fincke

        January 17, 2012 at 4:05 pm

        • I wish I could say what I happy I have. I’ve been lurking your blog for a really, RILLY long time 🙂


          January 17, 2012 at 4:11 pm

          • That’s great to hear! I never know who the lurkers are, only that they’re there. And I always wonder about them. I hope you speak up soon at CWH!

            Daniel Fincke

            January 17, 2012 at 10:27 pm

        • I lurve both of you, so glad you finally met.. ;D

          Chris Harmon

          January 17, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    • Typo: AKA Blogging with Bourbon 🙂


      January 17, 2012 at 2:30 pm

  2. *applauds*


    January 16, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: