Pecan Pie

Social Anxiety from the South

Out of the Mouths of (MY) Babes #Trans #Queer #LGBTQ

Sometimes…a lot of times…I think I am an awful parent.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am not one of those moms who lives for her children.  I am Pecan first, Penguin second, Mom third. My identity is really important to me.  In many ways that makes me act selfishly and I carry a hefty amount of guilt related to that for not being good enough as a mother.


Then, yesterday happens.


I had a friend come and speak to one of my classes about gender identity/discrimination/equality.  Class went great.  Hurray! No sweat and no surprise because my students are awesome.


What I didn’t expect was my children’s ability to grasp the exact same concepts without the benefit/burden of lecture, but just because apparently Jim and I do not suck as parents.


We watched Valentine Road.  Get on that. Seriously.


My friend who is trans* watched it with us.  We do “family night” where we watch educational material about equality and social justice issues and then we talk about them.


My sons were amazing. 


“Gender identity”


“Be who you are”


“Stand up for your friends”


“How is that not a hate crime?”

“He was taught to hate someone…and that’s wrong”


These are just a fraction of some of the things that came out of the mouths of my 11, 13 and 14 year olds.


Just a fraction.


They couldn’t have cared less about his gender identity and would never had known if we hadn’t had a discussion about it, they just loved having him over. But, they know that they know someone and they understand that makes their world bigger and better.


I saw more empathy from these boys than I have seen in a long time and it couldn’t have been more serendipitous.


I am grateful for so many things today.

Written by thelittlepecan

November 19, 2013 at 1:52 pm

Posted in atheism

One Response

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  1. I love that your kids had this experience. Clear proof that you don’t suck as a mom. A common misconception is that all parents must live for their children. We can not take care of anyone else if we don’t take care of ourselves. All the hugs for you 🙂


    November 19, 2013 at 5:57 pm

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