Pecan Pie

Social Anxiety from the South


I’ve been in a running slump. Since December…but if I’m honest with myself it’s been a slump since last summer. Didn’t train for my marathon, really after Peachtree, it was a hot mess.

Well, fortunately, I have friends. AND I have a new friend who can’t run right now and is living a little bit vicariously through other people who care for her.

I promised her I would run.

Promises matter.

I’ve always tried to remember that there are those of us who love to run, but we can’t always do it.

So I should, when I can. Which, so far, is all the time.

I’m a lazy ass.



I was looking for a place to wear it. Gorgeous new bikini. Part of my plan to love my body more and give fewer fucks about other people.

So, I ran (I ran so far awaaayyy). Then I came to the pool. I showered and put on my new Sorella bikini. Slipped on my cork heeled sandals…and found a place to put my lounge chair, book and cooler.

So I’m here…spotting the other beautiful fat women and men. Considering the courage it takes all of us just to share in this little spec of summer fun.

And I’m feelin’ good. (Cue Nina.)

Adult swim comes and I set down my autobiography, tuck my beverage under my beach chair…and I stroll.

I don’t walk quickly or run. I’m not ducking.

My head is held high.

I’m prepared to tell any fat-shaming ass to go fuck himorherself, but I’m really not expecting it.

I’m making the assumption that I’m beautiful.  I’m sexy and everyone else here thinks so, too.

Or they aren’t paying attention…and that’s just fine.

Today is a win in my journey to body love.

Don’t like it, well, that’s probably real sad for you.

Written by thelittlepecan

May 29, 2014 at 3:04 pm

Posted in equality, Running

Tagged with , ,

6 Responses

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  1. I…I…I’m really glad you’re blogging again! :o)


    May 30, 2014 at 3:40 pm

  2. The belly doesn’t get much better when you lose the weight, so being okay with it now is the best approach!!! LOL Even when I am being called skinny because I’ve been running so much (not in months!!) my belly shows its past life and the skin is still there. Oddly, I am now more okay with my body than when it was *perfect* in my early 20s… because I don’t expect perfection, just showing up is now good enough … ;P


    May 30, 2014 at 12:11 am

  3. How could anyone not like the view of a Pecan in a bikini? Seriously. I’ve given up on worrying about what people think of my big cuddly body anymore. Don’t like it? Don’t look. I had a run-in with some ignorant teenagers at the pool last weekend. I think they were shocked when their comments didn’t phase me.

    Xanny (@itsxanny)

    May 29, 2014 at 6:00 pm

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